I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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