Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
