How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
