Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
