We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
