You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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