Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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