You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
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I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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