Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It's shark week go big or go home
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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