You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
