Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
