Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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