turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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