I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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