So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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