At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize