it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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