I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize