What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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