I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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