i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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