My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
