your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
