oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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