how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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