I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
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please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
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I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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