If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Someone signed my nipple.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
