when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
