what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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