My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
