I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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