you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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