you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
