Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
