Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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