The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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