Don't make out with my wife yet
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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