It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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