I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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