My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
