I want to make a zoo with you.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
