WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
