thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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