we're blogging at a bar
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
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And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
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New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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