Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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