I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
