If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
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