I should be sponsored by Trojan
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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