i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
