Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
