for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
