no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
