Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
