his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize