dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
