so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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