he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
